Baby Jitters

Well, as most of you who read this blog (and that's not many) know, my wife Beth and I are about to have our first baby. She will be named Karoline Belle, and I am very excited about it. I find it very funny though that everyone around me takes so much pleasure in the fact that our lives are about to change forever. They ask me, "how's it goin?" God forbid I mention anything about being a little tired or about my lack of sleep, because then they get this sick grin across their face, look me up and down and then say, "o, just you wait until the baby comes." Well to all of those people out there, I've got something to tell you.
I may be an idiot, but here's a list of reasons why I'm not worried about what it will be like when the baby comes.
1. I don't get enough sleep as it is- I go to bed late every night. My wife wakes up to go to the bathroom, to get me to take the dog out, because its too hot or too cold, and so on. I wake up too early in the morning for the time I go to bed. I have never gotten enough sleep and I LIKE IT!
2. I have a dog who has thunderstorm anxiety. That may not sound like a lot, but in Texas, if it rains, it storms. Sure I've gotten a little soft since I moved out to NorCal but I remember what it was like sleeping on the chair in my office and slamming Whisper's cage every time he started to act the fool.
3. If you can do it, I know I can do it. No more needs to be said on this subject.
4. I pick up my dogs poo with a very thin plastic grocery bag.
5. There is no way a baby with no training can be as demanding as Beth. I mean that in the nicest way, I love my wife and wouldn't change her one iota, but it took some serious work to create such a monst...lovely and beautiful wife. I'll be more worried about Karoline after she hangs out with her mom for a few years.
6. Girls can't shoot pee across the room or up at me.
7. I don't get worried about anything. (But I am taken by surprise quite often.)

Babies are loud, helpless, messy, smelly, and demanding. Welcome to the Goff family.

I would like to end this post with the disclaimer that I am probably dead wrong about everything I just wrote.