How Metrosexual is Your Worship Pastor?

This was pretty funny. A friend of mine sent me this and it was eye opening. This is a quiz to see "How Metrosexual Your Worship Pastor Is." I took the quiz. I would like for you to take it for me and comment what you scored me as. I'll reveal the actual score later on.

Monday, June 2, 2008
#269. Understanding how metrosexual your worship leader is. (A handy guide)
There are really only two reasons I wanted to write this post:

1. The first post was just an appetizer.
I wrote about this subject a few months ago when 12 people were reading the site but I just barely touched on it. I didn't do it justice and people have reminded me that there is more to be said on this pivotal subject. So this is like the Timbaland Remix.

2. No one has quantified this phenomenon
There are some things in life that are concrete and true. For instance, it is a fact that "You're all I want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey and "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC are fantastic songs. No argument there. But when you tell someone about your church, there's not a standard system to describe the degree of metrosexuality your worship leader possesses. Wouldn't it be awesome to say, "You'll love my church and the music. Our worship leader scored a 78 on the SCL Metro Test."

Don't answer that last question. It was rhetorical. As a service to churches around the world, here is an easy rating system by which to analyze to what degree your worship leader is a metrosexual.

1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +1

2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1

3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1

4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +2

5. Attends the Catalyst Conference = +3

6. Performs at the Catalyst Conference = +10

7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair

8. Wears jeans on stage = +1

9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +2

10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -3

11. Has a goatee = +2

12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2

13. Drinks coffee on stage = +1

14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +2

15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +5

16. Has a handlebar mustache = -3

17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all "sweaty" = +1

18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1

19. Owns a white belt = +2

20. Owns suspenders = -3

21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +1

22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +2

23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +3

24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +2

25. Uses the words, "postmodern, relevant" or "emergent" nonstop = +2

26. Cringes a little when people say the "H word." (Hymnal) = +3

27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, "That song is so 1990s" = +1

28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -2

29. Named his kid after a color or a number = +2

30. References Norwegian punk bands you've never heard of = +2

31. Wears a tie = -1

32. Wears a tie as a belt = +2

33. Looks as if he might exfoliate = +2

34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +2

35. Brings said bag on stage with him = +2

36. Has a tattoo = +2

37. Has a visible tattoo = +4

38. Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine = -4

39. Was formerly in a punk new wave band = +2

40. Knows the names of all the people on the scripted MTV show, "the Hills" = +3

41. Refuses to drink anything but Vitamin Water = +2

42. Your wife ever says, "he needs a barrette for his hair." = +2

43. Has a nickname with "the" in it, as in "the edge," = +2

44. Owns every Nooma video = +2

45. Has a soul patch = +3

46. Won't play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure = +2

47. Refers to California as "the left coast" = +2

48. Currently subscribes to Dwell or Details magazine = +2

49. Owns a pair of lady jeans = +2

50. Twitters you from his iPhone = +2

51. His toddler dresses cooler than you = +2

52. He wears graphic t-shirts over button down, long sleeve shirts = +2

53. Ever says "we got a hot mic here" = -4

54. Shops at the Gap = 0

55. Shops at Urban Outfitters = +2

I scored one of the worship leaders at North Point and he did pretty well. At some point I will do a lady version, but for right now, I feel like a 55 item list of analyzing worship leaders is enough to earn me a new batch of "you are weird" emails, and at the end of the day, that's all I can ask for.


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Which One is the Republican Nominee for VP?





















I'm not sure about McCain's choice for VP. If people thought Obama was overcompensating, what do they say for McCain? I mean 30 Rock is a great show but I'm not sure it has the wide-spread appeal that McCain is looking for. Although, Tina Fey's diatribe on Saturday Night Live about Hillary was pretty stirring.


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Thriving Musician Summit

The name is kind of an oxymoron but I am totally excited about this year's Thriving Musicians Summit at Bayside Church September 19th and 20th. This will be my teams second year to go and it was a great time to grow as a team and see where we are going. Check out the promo video. Its not to late to sign up.



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What is Your Price

I was thinking about this the other night and it might sound a little cynical but I believe that everyone has a price. Everyone has a limit to what the will do and how much they will sacrifice or accept to do something. I believe this is a fundamental flaw for us and leads us into sin. The only person who didn't have a price was Jesus Christ, who sacrificed it all not only while on the cross but remember "he had no home," and lived off of other charity.

I think part of really knowing who you are is knowing your price. Not necessarily how much you make but what it would take for you to step outside of God's plan for your life. Some people's price is very low and thus they have a shallow or non-existent relationship with Christ. Other people have a very high price so they have a much deeper relationship with Christ.

However deep or shallow your relationship, however high or low your price, there's no denying that you still have a price. What is your price.

Let's take the focus off of money or what you will receive and ask ourselves this question, "What am I willing to give up for God." Are you willing to give up the comforts of life such as housing, television, extra income. Are you willing to give up living in a safe area if God calls you to the slums. Are you willing to give up indoor plumbing because God has called you to the mission field. Where do you draw the line.

I asked this question of Beth the other night and she started listing what we "need." With her permission I'm sharing her list with you.

#1 Telephone, #2 Internet, #3 Satellite TV, #4 Food,...

Seriously that was her list. I busted out laughing and asked her if she realized she listed food 4th to telephone, Internet, and TV. She laughed too.

Many of us have our priorities skewed and need to get them back in order. However, to do that, we have to figure out what our price is and then work to make it less. Once you have identified your hangups, what keeps you from moving to that next level with Jesus, you and God can work on it. Until then, He's not the Lord of your life, He's just the Lord of what you let Him be.


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For An Encore

Since our Olympic adventures were so popular, Beth and I decided to give you a little encore. Actually this is what my brother-in-law does while other adults are working. Enjoy!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!


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Beth and I In the Olympic Spirit (Our Home Video?)

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!


Sure I've gained a little weight but check out the agility. I'll take agile over skinny any day.


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Funny Thing About The Internet

So, I've been complaining about the Internet at my office for a good month now. Well today they decided to finally get it checked out. Guess what? We were running a slow dial-up speed. Hey, didn't I...never mind. Anyway, they won't be able to fix it for a couple of days so the kitchen table is where I'll be. Its not so bad while the kids are asleep, a little bit harder when they're awake. I'm still not sure Beth knows exactly what I do. She keeps accusing me of playing. She doesn't realize that my job is basically revolving around my computer(s) and the Internet these days. That's why its been so hard to work well with dial-up speed. It was so 1995 (he says with a "valley girl" accent).

By the way, anyone know why spell check makes me capitalize Internet?


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What Go-Karting Taught Me About Life

Last night Beth and I went out Go-Karting (I'm not sure why its spelled with a K but it is) with some friends for a birthday party. It was great. I really enjoyed going as fast as I could around the track and literally riding on the edge of control (I almost lost it once) at about 40mph, on an indoor track. This was especially exciting for me because I am a big racing fan. I watch NASCAR every week and even watch some Indy Car and Formula One racing. What I didn't expect, though, was to learn a pretty cool little life lesson from the experience.

I was the first car on the track...the 8 car, if you know me and know racing you know I wasn't super-psyched about that. The first couple of laps were warm-up yellow flag laps. I got going to what I thought was a pretty decent pace. Once the green flag dropped I went a little faster. Then all of the sudden I got passed by another guy. I didn't realize I could go that fast so I floored it and spent the rest of the time chasing that guy and eventually passing him...along with passing Beth and all of the girls (not that all girls are slow, just these girls) on the track 7 or 8 times. The rest of the story is, I was eventually black flagged for using too much brake (even though I was the fastest on the track!?) and lost a couple of laps and finished second.

However, the little life-lesson was pretty profound I thought. Proverbs tells us that "without vision, the people perish." If you don't know where you're going, how to get there, or how fast you can go, you'll never make it. I had no idea how fast I could go on that track. What I thought was pushing it actually turned out to be a rather pedestrian pace. It took someone who had been there before to show me how to do it. So I followed him around for a few laps and then when I felt comfortable passed him and went on my way.

So often we try to set out to do things on our own and we fail. What we don't realize is that "nothing is new under the sun." There are so many people who have gone before us, who have blazed trails and made all of the mistakes for us. They have cast the vision and all we need to do is follow in their tracks. What you have to do is decide if you are the trailblazer or the follower. I think we have to play both roles to be successful. You should follow for a while, accomplishing another person's God-given vision and then when you're ready, start blazing a trail of your own and lead others in accomplishing what God has put on your heart.

We are not meant to be the Lone Ranger of whatever it is we're called to do. We are meant to live, learn, and succeed in community with others. Find someone to lead you or find someone whom you can show the way. We'll get so much more done.


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We Have a Winner

Due to his five comments, Joseph Lyman has won the free copy of Wild Goose Chase. That's good because I won't have to ship it. However, the rest of you (in the words of my brother-in-law) are "busters" for not commenting. You should definitely get the book. Its great. Also check out Mark Batterson's first book "In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day." It will make you want to go out and do something really daring.


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What Shouldn't be in the Olympics

Well, I've mentioned this to a few people and today someone asked me if I was going to blog about it, an the answer is yes. I have really, really enjoyed the Olympics this year. I thought that once the swimming was over, I would lose some interest and then I watched Usain Bolt (he makes the all-time name list) celebrate for the last 20 meters of the 100 meter dash and still shatter the world record and now I'm pulled into track and field.

However, there are some things I am not super excited about. There are some sports that just should not be in the Olympics. My basic idea is that if the Olympics is not the biggest achievement in your sport, it should not be in the Olympics. I applaud the IOC for removing baseball (I question removing softball), I wish we could lose such sports as basketball where the NBA championship is the pinnacle of the sport...for now, and tennis in the Olympics will never reach the level of any of the majors and besides, does anyone watch Olympic tennis? Finally soccer, they already have the world cup, Euro, the Champions League, not to mention all of the European and African League championships. Did I forget MLS championship? No, I didn't forget.

The Olympics was made for the sports that people don't gather around on a weekly basis to watch but they'll gather around every four years. I enjoyed watching the badminton finals and mens' team sabre more than I enjoyed watching the Redeem Team thrash Spain, as much as I can't stand Spain.

Let's get the major sports outta there. Its a waste of time and money and if we don't have those in the Olympics maybe we can figure out a way to get Equestrian closer to the host city than 1231 miles away...that's right 1231 miles, or quite the horse ride.


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Video Pulled

Well maybe someone at Focus on the Family figured it out. They pulled the "praying for rain" video from YouTube. Not so good for my blog but good for posterity. Trust me, it was stupid.

Don't forget to comment on the Wild Goose Chase blog to get a free book.


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I love focus on the family. They are so creative and funny. Well, not really funny. Check out this video that focus on the family made. I'm sure that many lost people will come to Christ based on this video.

I don't care what your politcal view, this is just stupid...and its not even funny!



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Wild Goose Chase (Win A Free Book)

"Some live as if we expect to hear God say, 'Well thought good and faithful servant!' or 'Well said, good and faithful servant!' God isn't going to say either of those things. There is only commendation, and it is the by-product of pursuing God-ordained passions: 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'"

In his book Wild Goose Chase Mark Batterson challenges all Christ-followers to follow the Holy Spirit wherever he leads. The Celtic Christians' name for the Holy Spirit translates to Wild Goose and while at first it sound sacrilegious, its a fitting description. We never know where the Holy Spirit will lead us and its not always safe or comfortable to follow Him. However, most Christ-followers live very ordinary and boring lives which can lead to discontent and sometimes even sin. Boredom is not an option for those who are following the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

This book definitely challenges me to set God-sized goals, and to escape all of the cages that hold me back from being all that God has made me to be. Pick up a copy of this book and start chasing the Wild Goose right now.

Also, don't forget to comment on this post for your chance to win a free copy of Wild Goose Chase. If you don't win, visit ChaseTheGoose.com and buy your own copy. Also, check out Mark's blog to see what else he has to say.


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A Typical Day for Me

You may have noticed but lately I have been complaining a lot about being by myself at work and not being able to meet with anyone. So my sister sent me a video that she says she feels might represent a typical day at the office for me. I think I agree.



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Rules for the Free Book Giveaway

As I told you a couple of days ago, I am doing a book review this week on Wild Goose Chase. So, the rules for this are simple and designed so you don't cheat. I will not publish any comments until the end of the day that I post the review. I am doing this because Beth made a good point to me that people would just wait until they saw four comments and then make theirs.

I am hoping to set a new record in comments for one post and also get a better idea of who is reading my blog so I don't write something mean about them, not knowing that they read the blog.

So, keep and eye out. Its coming.


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The New Lincoln Brewster CD

I got this link from another blog I read. This is pretty impressive guitar playing but what else do you expect from Lincoln. I hope you guys will go out and buy this CD. Lincoln is one of the best worship leaders I know of and is definitely the best Christian guitar player...no guitar player around. He is the Worship Pastor at Bayside Church so I'm always pulling for other worship leaders. Check out this link.

Click Here to Listen


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My First Official Book Review

For some reason, I was was chosen to review a new book on my blog. This is really exciting for me and what makes it more exciting is that it is a book by a pastor that I really respect, Mark Batterson (National Community Church in Washington DC). The book is called Wild Goose Chase and is about setting life goals that God has chosen you for.

So far I am really enjoying the book and my review will come out before the release date of August 19th. Another thing that is really exciting about this review is that the publishers also sent me a book to give away on my blog. So, when the review comes out, I will be giving the book to the 5th person to comment on the blog.

So, be looking out for my review and you can check out book bytes on Mark Batterson's blog. Check the blog everyday. I am a fast reader.


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I Spoke Too Soon

Well, it took all of one day but I admit that I now have Olympic fever. All it took was watching the opening ceremony to get me into these games. I don't care if the fireworks were fake, it was awesome. Somehow that excitement turned into excitement about the actual games. I was watching badminton the other day...badminton.

The only problem is that here on the West Coast we not only get the tape delay from China, we get an extra 3 hour delay here. So, I see peoples response to what is happening from the East Coast before I can see it on TV. I pretty much have to go into blackout mode if there is something I really want to experience.

I'm kind of glad that China is doing such a good job as a host country because it will bring them more into the spotlight and make it harder for them to make serious human rights violations, religious persecutions, and dubious diplomatic decisions with questionable national leaders. There will no longer be that shroud to hide behind.

So, go USA. I'll be watching, Beth.


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The Olympics...Hooray

I remember when I was a kid, watching the Summer Olympics and just being in awe. I remember watching Carl Lewis in '88 and '92 (I was too young to remember '84). The Olympics always held a magical quality and I couldn't wait to watch them.

Its not the same anymore. I don't know if its the professionalization (I may have made that word up), the commercialization, or the time difference, but its not the same. One possibility is that the events in China start at 12 AM and end roughly at 8 AM. I watch all of my TV shows on my DVR so I'm used to tape delay, but I also watch SportsCenter, listen to sports radio, and check ESPN.com religiously so I can't avoid the results before I watch them. What happened to that magic. It feels like any other Friday but tonight (actually about 12 hours ago) are the opening ceremonies. Whaaa?

Are you looking forward to the Olympics?


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I Wish I Had Written This

This is stuff that has always gotten to me and Perry Noble did a great job putting it into words. Some of you may remember him from our One Prayer series. He was the one who, according to Terrence Green, would be the result if Dave and I had a baby. If you don't go to Bay Hills, don't ask. The devil is at work and generally he doesn't show up in a red suit with a pitchfork. He is behind the scenes whispering things to those who God wants to use, planting ideas in their heads that go against God's word, and leading them to criticize those who are making an impact on the world for Jesus Christ. Here it is in Perry Noble's words.


If I Were The Devil…

Here are some things I would do…

* I would tell church leaders that “it’s not about the numbers!” That they should be more concerned with quality than quantity. I would make them take pride in the fact that they were reaching no one, and actually get them to criticize the people that are.
* I would convince church leaders that the quality of their worship services do not matter.
* I would tell Christians to not allow themselves to be polluted by the world, but rather to attack it consistently so that those who are in it would be driven further from the church.
* I would convince church leaders to DREAM SMALL! The last thing I would want would be people realizing that God is honored by people who really do believe that He can do the impossible! (Craig had an AWESOME post on this!)
* I would get the church to focus on politics, getting them to believe that they are doomed unless a particular political party holds office.
* I would make sure that those who believe in reformed theology and those who don’t hate each other; after all, if they fight with each other they have no time to fight me.
* I would tell bloggers that they are “just” and “right” by setting up websites that do nothing but attack other ministries and tear them down.
* I would tell pastors that it is perfectly acceptable to substitute ministry work for their personal walk with God; after all, He should understand.
* I would convince pastors and church leaders to focus on what other churches are doing “wrong,” thus taking the focus off of their church.
* I would tell churches that boycotting “secular” organizations is the most practical and effective way to reach the world.
* I would tell young church planters that they cannot teach Scripture, call for repentance or take an offering, for that would be offensive. (What I would not tell them is that the only people that ever offends are “Christians!”)
* I would get denominations to focus way more on inwards preferences and religious politics, allowing those who give the most money to call all the shots.
* I would tempt the church to focus on issues and not Jesus.
* I would tempt pastors to buy into the lie that things “will be better at the next church,” thus causing them to never dig roots in a community and build a great work for God.
* I would tell pastors to disguise their jealousy over other pastors with statements like, “I am really concerned with such and such church down the road,” OR, “what you don’t know about THAT church is…”
* I would make churches feel prideful in their particular Bible translation.

Those are just a few things…


If you would like to read more Perry Noble, go to http://www.perrynoble.com


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How We Can Know God is Working

In the last few days I have really been thinking about this subject a lot. Bay Hills is entering into a new phase or season, as my friend Alex told me yesterday, and it can be a little scary. Today I received a comment from a worship leader named Jim on a post from a few weeks ago in which I revealed my deepest, darkest, most selfish ambitions (Confessions of a Worship Pastor). This prompted me to think even more on the subject of discerning whether or not God is working in our lives.

My conclusion is that as long as everything is going well, plans are coming together without a hitch, people are generally happy with what we're doing, etc., we are not being effective and God is not particularly involved in what we are doing. In an email conversation with a buddy from my high school days, Matt, he reminded me that Jesus was offensive and if he's not offensive then we don't know him like we should. So whether you're in ministry or work at the local McDonald's...which I won't be boycotting...if you're just cruising along, you may need to ask God to shake things up a bit.

I'm not saying you should intentionally tick people off but if what you are doing isn't ruffling a few feathers, if you aren't causing a few people to be offended, you may want to re-think your approach. People-pleasing is never the answer. What we as Christ-followers should strive for is God-pleasing and that is it. Those who are on board with what God is doing will be pleased...eventually.

So, good news Bay Hills. All of the struggle with facilities, the daily opposition you face as a Christ-follower in the Bay Area, and all of the other small conflicts we face, are a sign that God is getting ready to do something big. So brace yourselves, its coming.


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