Why Everyone Should Go To Seminary

For a long time I have been reflecting on my Seminary days and how they have impacted my life. Its interesting because as I am now in the ministry, I rarely call upon my seminary education. The reason for this is because in seminary they don't have classes called "How to Deal With People Who Think Your a Jerk 101" or "Nobody Likes Your Music, Now What 303." This is disappointing. However, yesterday it all came together and it was made clear to me why I went to seminary...

I now know where all of the funny stuff is in the Bible!

That's it...That's what seminary is for. My brother-in-law Jared is now in seminary and soon enough he will unlock the secrets of Bible humor. For instance, there are a few words in the Bible that may not be looked upon as words to be used for polite conversation (see Numbers 22 and the pretty much all of Deuteronomy). And, every time a Youth Pastor decides to dress up like a girl, you can get him with the passages in Deuteronomy that says he will burn for cross-dressing (especially if he's a Baptist).
Try reading some of the guidelines for using the restroom when in the camp as a transition from one worship song to another. That will shock some people.
Anyway, now I know that I didn't waste two years of my life at Paige Patterson Seminary...I mean Southwestern Seminary, and that makes me happy enough to dance around in my underpants like good ole' David.



Jared McCrory said...

(The following is in the voice of the SNL announcer)Live from the seminary computer lab- it's Thursday night! Yes, I am here in the computer lab of Southern Seminary (or as I like to call around TJ- "THE Southern Baptist Theological Seminary"), and while I will not get into a debate about the merits of a seminary education (I do think there are multiple benefits obviously or I wouldn't be here), I agree with TJ that my study of the OT has opened my eyes to some pretty rough- if not profane- passages, especially in the books of the Law. One of them I read a couple of weeks ago was Deuteronomy 25:11-12. Yikes! Or 1 Samuel 4:18, the moral of which is don't be old and heavy and just sitting around when the ark of God is stolen by the Philistines. See TJ- I am learning something!

Sarah McCrory said...

I can't believe I'm related to both of you and one of you I chose!!! I am so lucky! Could someone tell my husband to stop playing in the computer lab and come home!!! LuLu, I'm glad that thousands of dollars funded your ability to use comedic scripture. At least it wasn't a waste.

McCrory Family said...

What's up with me, you, and Jared trying to be like each other. After you went to seminary, Jared and I went to seminary. After I put stuff in my hair, you and Jared followed suit. After you had a baby, Jared and I are having babies. Hopefully Jared and I won't quit seminary now and move to California. Oh yeah, I just got a job as a student minister. Check out my blog :russellandlyndsey.blgotspot.com. I start in December....Lyndsey and I are moving to Montgomery. See ya queer.